WELL! JAMES BROWN'S BODY HAS GIVEN UP ITS SOUL, CHARLIE DRAKE AIN'T LAFFIN' NO MORE, EXPREZ MADDAS HAS TAKEN A GREAT STEP FOR MANKIND, EMPEROR AARTONE IS GIGGIN' WITH A BEE GEE - 'STAYIN ALIVE, HUH STAYIN ALIVE'. MY DOGFOOD HAS BEEN KNIGHTED(SAHBONO) AND WE HAVE AN OBE, WITH A CERTAIN EDGE, HERE NOW TO BE KNOWN AS "KONIFER 'EDGE". I HAVE ONE ROUND MY GARDEN AND I GUESS ITS JUST AS GREEN AND THICK. FURST LADEE GIMME GIMME IS ON A FREEBIE ROUND CAPE KENNEDY SPACE CENTRE, "SECURITY, CHECK HER HANDBAG ON WAYOUT!" REMEMBER WE ARE A HEARTBEAT AWAY FROM BIFFO-RULE. HE SPENT CHRISTMAS DAY IN HOSPITAL, HAD A PAIN IN THE ASS BUT REDASBO-JOK DIDN'T STAY TOO LONG. I BELIEVE JON, THE GREY MAJOR, PUT IT ABOUT HE AIN'T IN FAVOUR OF THE IRAQ WAR. FCUK OFF JON! NO ONE CARES, EVER SINCE YOU WENT TO WORK ON MORE THAN AN EGG, GETTING BACK TO BASIC'S WITH EDWINA WIDE-THIGHS. WELL, I GOT A CIVIL SERVICE WATCH ON EBAY FOR CHRIMBO, JUST CHECHED THE FERKIN DATE, KINEL IT SAYS ITS NEARLY EMBERDECUARY THE 62nd MUST BE TIME FOR A PJM REVIEW DECISION SOOOOOOOOON I HEAR RECRUITING BUDGETS HAVE GONE UP! WELL WOT CAN I SAY, LOOKS LIKE NO ONE NORMAL IS JOINING UP. RETENTION IS THE ISSUE. I FIND IMMODIUM HELPS. OFF TO GET RAT ARSED AND PUT SOME HEAVY ORDNANCE ALOFT DON'T FORGET CHILDREN, LAST PIECE OF ADVICE FOR THE NEW YEAR - HARRY ROBERTS, WHO KILLED 3 POLICEMEN IN 1966, IS STILL IN PRISON 40 YEARS ON AND 10 YEARS PAST HIS TARIFF. NO POLICEMAN HAS EVER BEEN CHARGED WITH KILLING PEOPLE FOR RUNNING ON THE UNDERGROUND OR THAT MOST SERIOUS OF CAPITAL OFFENCES - CARRYING A CHAIR LEG IN A CARRIER BAG. BYE.