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Arthur R-S
Joined: 05 Aug 2006
Posts: 860
Location: Brandon, Suffolk
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The Charge of the PMJ Brigade
The charge of the PJM Brigade,
with apologies to Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Half a mo! Half a mo!
Half a mo! Onward...
All of us in one breath
Roared and then thundered
Forward the PJM'ers
'Charge for the 'suits'. Barry said
All of us in one breath
Roared and then thundered
Forward the PJM'ers
Was there a man dismayed?
Of course, all of us knew...
The Civil Servants had blundered
'Yours not to make reply'
'And not to know the reason why'
'Yours but to do or die'
First we muttered under our breath
Then we roared and then thundered
MP's to the right of them
Minions to the left of them
Civil Servants in front of them.
They'd screwed up, they'd blundered
Stormed us with 'spin' as well
Boldy, we rode and not fell
Up against hyperbole as well
Rode the PJM'ers
Forwarded our letters there
We'll fight and not despair
Confounding the liars there
Unspinning their 'army', while
All the world wondered
Plunged through the screen of smoke
Right through their lines, we broke
Civil Servants and MPs
Reeled from our master stroke
They were shattered and sundered
Then they reeled back, but
Refused that they'd blundered
MP's to the right of them
Minions to the left of them
Civil Servants in front of them
Panicked and blundered
Stormed us with 'spin' as well
Then a tall tale they'd tell
About how they gave us hell
But, all that was left of them
Knew they had blundered
When will our story fade?
When will our glory fade?
Oh that wild charge we made!
All the world wondered
Honour that charge we made
Honour those PJM'ers
Last edited by Arthur R-S on Sun Oct 08, 2006 8:19 am; edited 2 times in total
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Thu Oct 05, 2006 9:16 am |
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Smudger
Joined: 16 May 2006
Posts: 137
Location: Stockport
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Arthur
Very good and straight to the point.
_________________ Hold the line steady boys.
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Thu Oct 05, 2006 9:36 am |
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scouserkev
Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Posts: 41
Location: guess!
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Re: The Charge of the PMJ Brigade
Arthur R-S wrote:The charge of the PMJ Brigade,
with apologies to Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Arthur, That is a great rendition and appropriate and telling revamp of the original which Alfred would have been proud to pen with his very own quill! Kev.
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Thu Oct 05, 2006 11:26 am |
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'Jock' Fenton
Joined: 12 Feb 2006
Posts: 1222
Location: Ontario, Canada
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Poetic Licence
Since I do not possess Arthur R-S's gift for rewriting classical poems (my own knowledge of poetry, sadly, being limited to the 'Nantucket' series of Limericks).... I must content myself with a little exercise in free verse....with apologies to absolutely no-one!
The Song that Civil Servants Sing
The Civil Servants say....'Yes',........but not 'Yes';
'No'........but not 'No'.
'We should, but we can't',
'We can, but we shouldn't'.
'Now we might like to and we may want to -
...only we may not be able to.
'If we are not able to, then rest assured that we wanted to,
...and if we are able to, well you see, there are those who say we shouldn't.'
'Of course there are others who say we might not want to...but we must!'
'If this is the case we certainly shall -
...unless it turns out that we can't'.
'So...we will if we can't; We won't if we can; If we shouldn't we certainly wouldn't.
...'although, that might turn out to be wrong?
'We were selected to give advice...no-one tells us what we should or shouldn't,
could or couldn't, do....
'So we will!
....or we won't...as the case may be.
'We have to if it's right and we shouldn't if it's wrong -
'But dare we if it's wrong?...and must we if it's right?
'Someday; We may, or may not, reconsider our position and decide...
Parliamentarians don't run this Country y'know....We do!
_________________ ...................'Jock'
Paroi...Rasah...Batu Signals Troop.
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Fri Oct 06, 2006 11:15 am |
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John Cooper
Joined: 11 Feb 2006
Posts: 2158
Location: Suffolk
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With apologies to Lonnie Donegan’s Dustman by The ‘Suitlover’ himself!
Now here's a little story
To tell it is a must
About an unsung hero
That earns more than a crust
Some people make a fortune
Others earn a mint
Our man on The HD lot don't earn much
In fact he's a Civil Servint !
Our old man's a servant
He wears a bowler hat
He wears pin striped trousers
And he works for a bigger tw@t
He looks a proper 'nana
In his Pin Striped Whitehall Suits
He's got such a pile on his desk
He’s working to fill his boots
Some Servicemen get medals
And some of them are forgot
So when he signs an order
There is only one blind spot
Now one Veteran got nasty
And to the Civil Servant wrote
Next time the Veteran went round there
He punched him up the throat
Our old man's a servant
He wears a bowler hat
He wears pin striped trousers
And he works for a bigger tw@t
I say I say John
(Yeah)
I found a Civil Servant the other day
(How do you know it was a Civil Servant)
He was buried under his In Tray
Though our old mans a Servant
He's ain’t got no medals of gold
He got riled recently
Though he's 56 years old
We said 'ere hang on bud
You're getting past your prime
He said well when you get my age
It 'elps to pass the time
Oh our old man's a Servant
He wears a bowler hat
He wears pin striped trousers
And he works for a bigger tw@t
I say I say I say
My dustbin's full of PJMs
(Well throw'em away then)
I can't The Vet’s are wearing 'em
Now one day whilst in a hurry
He missed a PJM pin
He hadn't gone but a few yards
When we chased after him
What game d'you think you're playing
We cried right from the 'art
You've missed us are we too late
Nah jump up on the cart
Oh our old man's a Servant
He wears a Bowler Hat
He wears Pin striped trousers
And he works for a bigger tw@t
I say I say I say
(Not you again)
My dustbin's absolutely full with ‘suits’
(How d'you know it's full)
Cuz there's not mushroom inside
He found a Tiger Beer one day
Nailed to a Penang Bar
The Tiger looked quite Frothy
But I suppose it should
Just then from out the window
A voice began to wail
He said Oy where's me Tigers head
Four feet from his tail
Oh our old man's a Servant
He wears a Bowler Hat
He wears pin striped trousers
And he works for a bigger tw@t
Next time you see a Servant
Looking all pale and sad
Don't kick him in the Whitehalls
It might be our old dad
_________________ --------------------------------------------------------------
HD Committee: Amateurs in a Professional World
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Fri Oct 06, 2006 11:25 am |
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Arthur R-S
Joined: 05 Aug 2006
Posts: 860
Location: Brandon, Suffolk
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Poems
Thanks for your efforts Gentlemen, they are classic.
Just keep them all coming/
What about an anthology of poems and publish all of them, with proper accreditation for your efforts, and all of the profits go to Welfare Charities of your choice.
Any thoughts on that?
Yours Aye
Arthur
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Fri Oct 06, 2006 1:06 pm |
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Tunku Mahmood Shah
Joined: 29 Aug 2006
Posts: 1
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Aha.?
Is it now "The Charge Of the Heavy Brigade.?"
I for sure are one ..count me in.
Tunku Mahmood Shah
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Fri Oct 06, 2006 8:51 pm |
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John Cooper
Joined: 11 Feb 2006
Posts: 2158
Location: Suffolk
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Tunku Mahmood Shah wrote:Aha.?
Is it now "The Charge Of the Heavy Brigade.?"
I for sure are one ..count me in.
Tunku Mahmood Shah
Welcome to the forum, it is indeed an honour to have you on board
_________________ --------------------------------------------------------------
HD Committee: Amateurs in a Professional World
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Fri Oct 06, 2006 9:03 pm |
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Jodakist
Joined: 03 Oct 2006
Posts: 26
Location: Cambridgeshire
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With apologies to all poets everywhere!
As I age I find that my thoughts do dwell
On deep dark glades in a living hell
Beneath the trees in places dark as darkest night
With clothes soaked through and sticking tight
Dampness and humidity all around
And creepy things upon the ground
Keep you alert and wide awake
Is it an old branch – or a snake?
Remember how we suffered with `Prickly Heat’
Around the groin and in the seat
Tight canvas boots with dark green breeches
Still couldn’t keep out the leeches
Those service days, sad for some
I at least came safely home
To be awarded a GS medal and clasp
Which, after twenty - nine years arrived at last!
Now it seems that I’ll get another
But this appears to be causing a bother
To those brave, hard working folk in darkest Whitehall
Who with their pens and their papers contribute **** all
Daily they suffer in their high position
Soft chairs, deep rugs and air condition
Deprived of even the simplest bivvy, in the sun
And not even allowed to carry a gun
Life isn’t fair, it really isn’t just
These poor old pen pushers are merely earning a crust
And perhaps might pick up the odd KBE
But that’s just a trinket, a keepsake, to you and to me
For we earned our award with brown knees and not noses
Remember how our daily workplaces did not smell of roses
And our award is an honour from a very grateful nation
Not one that was given for the size of our donation
So to all of our readers, I’d just like to make it clear
We’re not asking for money – not even a cheer
We just want some justice, we will not accept failure
In our quest for our Queen to proclaim: “You may wear your
PINGAT JASA MALAYSIA!”
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Sat Oct 07, 2006 3:12 pm |
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Arthur R-S
Joined: 05 Aug 2006
Posts: 860
Location: Brandon, Suffolk
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We have some good poets out there. Don't hide your light under a bushel gentlemen, keep them coming, this is excellent stuff.
Also new friend, Mr Tanku Mahmood Shah, who has posted on this thread, hails from Johore in Malaysia, an extremely warm welcome to you my friend.
Please feel free to have any of my poems sent to the Straights Times, without the expletives.
Anything we can do to embarrass The British Government into submission and reverse their disgraceful actions will rest easily with us all.
Yours Aye
Arthur
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Sun Oct 08, 2006 8:31 am |
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