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ro5=6372
Joined: 11 Mar 2006
Posts: 1763
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AVON & SOMAZET ARMOURED CAR
WHAT A BUSY MORNIN,YOU THOUGHT DERBYSHIRE HAD A PROB,WITH CEE CEE DEE, MORPHIN INTO MAD -MAO.I MUST INFORM BUT KEEP IT A SECRET,REMEMBER AVON & SOMEZET WAS THE POLICE/FARCE, THAT FAMOUSLY IN ENFORCING EQUAL OPPORTUNITIES,ACTIVELY DISCRIMINTATED AGAINST,,,, WAIT FOR IT; WHITE MALE RECRUITS.PITY THIS ISN'T APPLIED TO THE ARMED FORCES,THEN WE COULD GAUGE THE LEVEL OF ETHNIC PATRIOTISM.ANY HOW THIS FARCE HAVE DECIDED THEY HAD AN EQUIPMENT GAP,SO THEY HAVE BOUGHT AN ARMOURED CAR ,NATURALLY THEY REFUSE TO INFORM HOW MUCH THIS HAS COST,THE MAKER OF THE VEHICLE HAS RECOMMENDED THIS VEHICLE IS USED ? ,RATHER THAN KEPT IN STORE AS THIS USE WILL MAKE IT MORE RELIABLE.THIS I FIND VERY COMFORTING TO KNOW WHEN PEOPLE IN BRISTOL REFUSE TO SHARE OUT THERE DOPE AND THINGS GET OUT OF HAND DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,BUT I INTEND STAYIN IN,WHEN ITS DRIVEN AT ABOUT 149MPH WHEN DRIVERS ARE ON TRAINING RUNS,IN THE MEANTIME YOU WILL JOIN IN WITH ME IN THE GENERAL APPLAUSE,IN THAT COUNCIL TAX THIS YEAR IS GOING TO BE A 3.5% INCREASE,WHICH WILL MAKE PENSIONERS ONLY ABOUT .75% WORSE OF ON ACCOUNT OF PENSION GOING UP BY 2.75%,SO BE VERY HAPPY U LUCKY PEOPLE,SEE GORDUN DOES CARE.
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Thu Jan 25, 2007 10:44 am |
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Arthur R-S
Joined: 05 Aug 2006
Posts: 860
Location: Brandon, Suffolk
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Re Armoured Car
I suspect that the real reason this machine had been purchased, is to protect the Council Tax whallas and visiting Civil Serpents, from the outraged locals, who strangely enough seem to project a negative image problem onto the aforemention dignatories. Can't quite figure out why.
I sincerely hope that it is petrol bomb and landmine proof. Wouldn't want anything to happen to those dear luminaries of freedom and dignity.
Bring on the RPG 7
Yours Aye
Arthur
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Thu Jan 25, 2007 11:05 am |
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ro5=6372
Joined: 11 Mar 2006
Posts: 1763
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WELL ARTHUR,THIS VEHICLE IS NOT AN ARMOURED LIMO,BUT IN THE INTEREST OF FACT ,IS A 4x4 LANDROVER DEFENDER,JUST WEIGHS TWO TON MORE THAN THE FARMERS GILES VERSION.RUMOUR HAS IT ,ONCE THE ARMY FOUND OUT,THEY WANTED IT,BUT ITS PRIORITIES,SOMETHING ABOUT BRIZ BEING MORE DANGEROUS THAN 'STAN.SIDES THERE WOULD BE HELL TO PAY ,IF IT GOT OUT THAT COUNCIL TAX WAS FUNDING A WAR,AS THE M.O.D. IS COMMITTED TO BUYING SOME VERY EXPENSIVE CHAIRS,AND AS YOU KNOW WE WOULDN'T WANT TO TAKE THEM OUT OF THEIR COMFORT ZONE,COS APPARENTLY WAR IS HELL WITH THE LID OFF.EVEN IN AN OFFICE.
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Thu Jan 25, 2007 12:50 pm |
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Arthur R-S
Joined: 05 Aug 2006
Posts: 860
Location: Brandon, Suffolk
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It's fending off those savage emails, that's the problem. Some of them can be vicious... tea trolley five minutes late...work quota not achieved due to urgent writing of memoirs etc..gee it must be hell in there.
Your Aye
Arthur
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Thu Jan 25, 2007 1:55 pm |
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Dave Cooke
Joined: 27 Jun 2006
Posts: 63
Location: Runcorn Cheshire
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I now know what is happening to our beloved and well-respected Civil Serpents. I have suspected for some time, that there is a wormhole in the space/time continuum between Earth and the treeless planet, Dorkk. The Dorkks, desperate for wood to make bicycles are opening the wormhole, locking on to sleeping Civil Serpents (massive choice!) and sucking out their brain cell, which they then use to clone short planks. The Dorkks then replace the extracted brain cell with cells which have been cloned from dog's anuses, which renders the Civil Serpents "fit for purpose" once more, only this time, with enhanced powers for talking SH*TE!!! Dave.
Last edited by Dave Cooke on Fri Jan 26, 2007 6:23 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Fri Jan 26, 2007 9:29 am |
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ro5=6372
Joined: 11 Mar 2006
Posts: 1763
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DAVE I WONDERED WHERE YOU WERE,FOR THE NOW ALL I CAN SAY IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT.WHEN THIS CAMPAIGN IS OVER,(NOT WHEN WE WIN,BUT WHEN WE HAVE' OUR MEDAL OUR RIGHT' RESORTED IN OUR FAVOUR)WHAT A WONDERFUL THING IT WOULD BE, FOR AS MANY OF US AS POSS,TO HAVE A STROLL ,PAST THE 'MANSION OF DECEICT',EYE'S RIGHT,WHILE OFFICER I/C OF PARADE ,SALUTES APPROPRIATELY ON OUR BEHALF, X 35,000
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Fri Jan 26, 2007 9:36 am |
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Dave Cooke
Joined: 27 Jun 2006
Posts: 63
Location: Runcorn Cheshire
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ro5=6372 wrote:DAVE I WONDERED WHERE YOU WERE,FOR THE NOW ALL I CAN SAY IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT.WHEN THIS CAMPAIGN IS OVER,(NOT WHEN WE WIN,BUT WHEN WE HAVE' OUR MEDAL OUR RIGHT' RESORTED IN OUR FAVOUR)WHAT A WONDERFUL THING IT WOULD BE, FOR AS MANY OF US AS POSS,TO HAVE A STROLL ,PAST THE 'MANSION OF DECEICT',EYE'S RIGHT,WHILE OFFICER I/C OF PARADE ,SALUTES APPROPRIATELY ON OUR BEHALF, X 35,000
I've been a bit busy lately, Jimmy the One wanted the hall, stairs and landing decorating, so I had to turn to. As I'm a crap decorator I have come up with a good method. I actually set out to paint myself and the carpet and in the process, manage to get the paint all over the walls and ceiling! Easy Peasy!!!!! If you would like to meet up, email me (see my profile). San Migs supplied!! Regards, Dave.
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Fri Jan 26, 2007 9:50 am |
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