The festive spirit was in short supply in the Arndale Centre, Manchester this weekend when a group of dignified unelected members of the Committee on the Grant of Honours, Decorations and Medals Committee (HD) singing Christmas carols, were booed and heckled out of the shopping centre because they were so awful.

Arndale manager Sharon Hastings had thought it would be a nice touch to have some “dignitaries” sing traditional carols to put shoppers in the Christmas mood. So a number of ‘suits’ from London lined up in front of the big Christmas tree looking terrified at the thought of people seeing them. Shoppers stopped and smiled and waited for the singing to begin. Unfortunately, the standard was well below what everybody was expecting. ‘Bloody hell, I’ve never heard ‘Away in a Manger’ sung so badly’ said a mother of two. ‘Frankly these people were sh#t at singing and eventually we felt compelled to tell them so.’

Some onlookers were prepared to give the elderly gentlemen the benefit of the doubt and waited for the next carol. But ‘Little Donkey’ was an even bigger disaster and soon the crowd began booing and slow handclapping. By the time they got onto ‘Silent Night’, people were shouting ‘I wish it was silent!’, ‘Shut up!’ or ‘You’re sh#te!’

One or two of the committee began to cry, but unfortunately this didn’t stop the others from ploughing on with the dreadful singing and eventually security guards came over and told them and their conductor to ‘sling their hook as they weren’t welcome.’

Their conductor said he was appalled by the behaviour of the shoppers; ‘These men are extremely dignified and powerful, and it took enormous courage for them to get up and sing in front of strangers. I can’t believe how heartless and cruel the everyone was. They were right though. They really were sh#t.’

Apologies to NewsBiscuit