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Brandon Free Press receives combined FCO and MoD reply
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Post Brandon Free Press receives combined FCO and MoD reply 
The Brandon Free Press, is proud, once again, to be at the cutting edge of political intrigue and chicanery.

We have now received the long awaited reply, from the FCO and the MoD regarding the acceptance and wearing of the Pingat Jasa Malaysia.

Their statement is as follows:

Ok! You snivelling bunch of erks. We have all got round the table and had a good laugh at your expense, regarding your communications over the past months.

During the consideration and reconsideration period which lasted until we had finished all of the Beaujolais, the Mateus Rose and the funny stuff in the green bottle (although we suspect one of our members pissed in it) and the amount of time it took for us to sober up. Our findings are:

1. We did not lie to Her Majesty the Queen, we just omitted to tell her certain facts, so that you cannot have it. We are patently jealous, because nobody ever offered us a medal, because we haven't got the guts to go and fight.

2. If we can spin this thing out for another five years, it will then come under the five years before consideration rule. In which case, you cannot have it.

3. It is a foreign decoration. So you cannot have it. It is current Government policy, that, only those of very senior military rank can accept and wear foreign awards. The reason is fairly obvious. They still have military connections and might send the Army around to disconnect our y-fronts. You lot cannot, so we sleep soundly in our beds at night.

4. You cannot have it , because we are a bunch of mean spirited mother xxxxxxx, who take a great delight in pissing off the general public, especially you lot.

5. We are sending you the bill for our deliberations on the fight4thepjm, issue, because somebody has to pay, so it might as well be you. Ok already, so we have also included the wine bill as well. and as luck would have it. YOU CAN HAVE THAT, with our blessing.

The H. and D. Committee

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