The Brandon free press has another scoop...

In a hurried interview with our roving reporter, Tony Blair announced to a stunned world that he was to be the new King of Sierra Leone.

Earlier today, Cherie Blair confessed that she was a trifle miffed that her husband was to be made King of a mediocre car, the likes of a Ford Sierra. She was holding out for a Rolls Royce, well, she would, wouldn't she.

Following her arrest by the secret police for dope smuggling, Cherie Blair, said, ' It is clearly a case of mistaken identity. How anyone could mistake my husband for a dope, stretched credulity beyond it's limits'.

Bystanders, and others in the know, merely nodded condescendingly, prefering to sell the truth to a well know scandal rag, which pays megabucks for the plain unvarnished truth.

Stay tuned for the next update, when Tony Blair explains the missionary position, with regard to Sierra Leone and his part in it's downfall.

The Editor

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Last edited by MB on Thu Feb 14, 2008 7:52 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Mike Barton

Hi Mike,

I've been in and out of the local sickbay for damaged cartilage, to both knees. After a few shots of hydrocortisone, the pain has now subsided and I am able to get about a bit.
The MO still reckons on a few weeks rest before I attempt to climb Mount Everest.. in his dreams of course. Life is a lot slower now for all of us, and I think that we have certainly earned the rest.

Following AARTONES's shock revelation of retiring to one of his mansions, paid for at tax payers expense, I am now totally traumatised and will carry the emotional scars to my grave.

Yours Aye

Arthur

At great expense, well, about thirty five pence really, our roving reporter was able to pay for a further interview with AARTONE, and was informed that this august gentleman would be known as King Numpti the First.

His good lady, Cherie, will be known as Queen Freebi the Turd
( presumably an Irish connection here), which has it's advantages of always being ushered to the front of the queue, in the local Tesco.

While the locals are bowing low to her, she can shoplift to her hearts content.. sorry, politically incorrect...relocate the goods into her safe keeping.

Mr John Presstit, will be made a pier, presumably to replace the one that burned down in Brighton, many years ago. He has always wanted to be a pillar of the community, whereas, AARTONE wanted him to buried under one.

It comes as no surprise that the editor of the Brandon Free Press has been turned down again for either a K or P., on account of not being able to say anything nice about AARTONE, or his wife, Miss Freelunch.

Still there is always next year. Now what can I say that would be construed as disparaging about the dipstick in waiting , prior to his move into no 10.

Editor